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Parking the Pork Chop Express out front should have been the first red flag
Brush-stroke white lettering reads "FRANK DUX" above kanji characters and "KUMITE" in a heavy Asian-inspired display font
Chrome-gradient lettering on a triangle backdrop peaked harder than every kid who learned to breakdance to save a rec center
Below the illustration
Hosting a tournament named after a jacket you lost to a hockey player is peak Shooter
Ernie McCracken's School of Bowling - Unisex Hoodie MD2026 Parking the Pork Chop ExpressEnrollment at McCracken's school gets you zero actual instruction, one signed headshot, and a forty minute monologue about Big Ern's greatest frames. Refund policy is just him winking and hitting on your wife. Inspired by Kingpin. The Details: Distressed white retro block text reads "ERNIE" with golden yellow "Est. 1979" beside it, above white text reading "MCCRACKEN'S." A digital illustration of Ernie McCracken in a light scarf cradles a golden
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